Tinned Machri Tarkari (Canned Fish Curry)

It’s been a while since I posted a non-veg recipe so today it’s fish on the menu. Anyways welcome to my post dedicated to my work. Another day another bakwaas (nonsense). Would you believe this took me over a month to write (yep! I type with my stylus at a snails pace) and a post which is full of emoticons today. Some of you might miss seeing the emoticons depending on the source you’re using to read this. In that case – tough luck you miss out lol 😜. Words come to life with expressions and I’m in the mood to be emoticon-pressive. Lets get on with it shall we?

I have a typical 9-5 government job although currently I work part-time. You know I actually look forward to going to work. It’s not like I’m doing something related to fun or of interest but it brings in the dough. I look forward to sitting my derriere on my ergo chair (with a special hidden hole cutout..you would think its a commode🚽kum chair hehehe😁). I enjoy looking into a massive monitor 💻 (I compose my posts at home on my ipad/iphone) using a special ergo keyboard carved out for a bodybuilders upper torso (just picture Salman Khans and you will know what I mean😉).

Now it’s not like I’m being deprived of these luxuries at home but when you’re running (in my case hobbling) after a little one there’s no time to peruse these items at leisure. I turn upto work like I’m on a holiday (I’m so asking for trouble if anyone at work reads this😳). All I’m left to do now is dress the part in a brightly coloured hawaian dress, a tropical flower🌺tucked into my hair and donning a pair of thongs. I love to listen to my bollywood dhoom dhadaka music on my ipod🎧whilst my fingers touch away on the keyboard. It (music) gives me an adrelanin rush…like seriously guys!!!

When work accommodated my workstation to suit my physical health needs I felt special. I mean let’s face it..it’s hard to accept that you are a special needs person especially when you think you’re delusionally slim, fit and fine and still 20 from inside lol..who am I kidding! There’s plenty much more happening inside me but that’s for me to know and you to find out.

I happen to work with some great characters two of whom inspire me to write crazy. I didn’t want to name them so as to protect their identities (why give them free royalty eh) then I felt the truth should be revealed to the world although I don’t know if my job will be safe after this…that’s another story. I will find out when I turn upto work next week.😳

My colleagues Sandra and Warren have the craziest sense of humour. They’re always bagging each other or other innocent victims like me. 😉The wonderful thing about us Australians is that we have the ability to laugh at ourselves. Most of us have instilled in us great witty wicked sense of humours. I love to join in with the fun when I can but I’ve been told I’m the instigator…who me???? 😇 Excuse me!!! innocent till proven guilty thank you very much😏..case dismissed!!

Let me start with perpetrater no.1 Warren (I’m of course the innocent victim here😟) who we have on many occassions teased (rather bullied) for not being with the times due to the fact that he has an old fashioned cell phone. We kept pushing him to upgrade to a smartphone. One day he surprised us and told us he finally got himself a new phone. We all jumped up and gathered around his desk to check it out and there he was with a hi-tech smartphone which he proudly demonstrated to us. It had awesome ring tones, music, song player and what not. I turned green with envy. My iphone appeared pale in comparision to his gadget. We all bowed🙇down before Warren who came out the winner with his sons wonderful toy📱phone. I vowed I will get my daughter the same one. We now love and respect Warrens “smartphone” which sits on his desk as a prized possession and we will never tease/bully him ever again.

Breaking news!!! Chain se sona hai toh jaag jao! (Hinglish translation – if you want to sleep peacefully then wake up!) these culprits are still out there on the loose. A very handsome and hot bounced cheque reward for you for turning them in.

On your left is Sandra half asleep..she was caught off guard when I snapped her photo at a meeting. On your right is Warren daydreaming finding lots of excuses for a lot of things which cannot be mentioned in here. Circled – is it a ghost? (I sense many of you will be tempted to zoom in for a closer look like I would lol) I think it’s the victims reflection…it’s me!!!

Moving along to perpetrator no. 2 Sandra. Recently I found out that she has a major pet peeve – she absolutely hates whistling especially those long ladidah 😙🎶types so to annoy her I tried to perfect my whistling skills but with no luck. Half way through my attempt I thought surely there must be an easier way. Being the net savvy geek that I am I brainstormed and finally (click💡) an idea struck in my evil brain muhahaha! 👹

One fine dandy morning Sandra literally drags herself into work and just as she sits her grumpy😠self down at her desk she hears whistling. I could just see her turning red😡with rage. I sit back and watch with immense pleasure to see her suffering (just so you know I’m really not a meanie but their traits sometimes rub off on me hehehe😬). She tries desperately to find the source and evil eye the culprit for being an annoyance but with no luck. She then turned around and eyed me suspiciously so I decided before she sues me for harassment it’s best to own up. I gave her the Tom & Jerry🐭🔫🐱flashback narrative and told her how in the end I found an app that does the whistling for me. OMG! the look on her face was just priceless!!!! 😊

Luckily they only have to tolerate me for two days a week. On a serious note though I’m glad I work with colleagues like Sandra and Warren who make work a little bit of fun the days I am there. Thank you guys! Please don’t stop harassing me. 😘

Getting onto todays recipe which is a popular canned fish the all Fiji famous brand 777 Mackerel. We love this fish with a passion (at least here in Australia we do). We scour the Indian grocers for this particular brand. It is absolutely yummy and trust me we Fijians are fussy when it comes to our “tin machris” or canned fish. Ask any Fijian they will tell you “buy 777 tin machri ek dum zulum re!”(It’s the best) “arre don’t buy anything else sab bekaar (rest not good)”. So here it is Fiji’s favourite tin machri recipe. This one’s for my niece Nandini who drools 😋at the very sight of this canned fish at the Indian grocers in the US and wishes she could just pounce on it. My advice to her – buy that Machri and get that outdoor Chulha (stove) happening. Happy cooking and a happy wedding anniversary to you.😘

Ingredients
1 425g Can 777 Brand Mackerel With Tomato Sauce
1 Onion
2-3 Garlic Cloves
1 Inch Piece Ginger
2-3 Methi/Fenugreek Seeds
A Ver Tiny Pinch Of Jerra/Cumin Seeds
A Very Tiny Pinch Of Sarso/Mustard Seeds
5-6 Curry Leaves
1/4 Tspn Haldi/Tumeric
2-3 Fresh Chillies
1 Level Tspn Garam Masala
2-3 Tbspn oil
Salt To Taste

Method
• Clean the Mackerel by breaking gently and deboning. As per my mum’s instructions I scrape out the scaly bits as well as the brown bits between the edges. Apparently it gets rid of the “bisain” or the off fishy fish taste (whatever that means I just follow mum). Be gentle enough not to mash it up when cleaning.
• Slice onion lengthwise
• Crush garlic and ginger
• Heat oil in a pan and add sarso, jeera and methi and lightly brown for a second or two.
• Now add onions along with ginger, garlic, chillies and curry leaves.
• Saute your onions until translucent and the raw smell of garlic and ginger has gone. Turn the heat low then add the dry spices haldi and garam masala and add 2 tbspn of warm water and fry for couple of seconds until the oil separates and floats up.
• Now add the Mackerel and simmer on low heat setting for 10-15 minutes. Be careful when stirring to keep the pieces from being mashed up.
• Finally garnish with dhaniya/coriander and a squeeze or two of lemon juice.

Tip – If you end up with 777 Mackerel without tomato sauce but in oil cook in a similar way but just add two finely chopped fresh tomatoes after the onions are done. Cook until tomatoes are soft and mushy then add all other ingredients and just follow the same process. In a rush once I bought the Mackerel in oil instead and thought “how the hell am I going to cook this now”. I was hesitant to eat the one with no tomato sauce flavour (its just what you get used to eating) but it actually ended up quite delicious with the addition of fresh tomatoes.

This dish is best served with Roti/Chapati.